Unintentional Prejudice

A man in a NSW Rail uniform just prayed. The father son and Holy Ghost prayer. Im not religious so I’m not sure which one that is. I’m sitting in the thoroughfare section of the train because I have two Eskies I’m lugging to work. He’s in his early 40s. Neat hair. Touches of grey near the sideburns. He has a wedding band on his left middle finger. At least it looks like a wedding band. Thin. Good. Receding hair line. Could be Eastern European. Could be Turkish. 

I have an overwhelming sense of dread. I sit here looking around scanning and mentally going though my options. My options for what, say it. Say it out loud in your head. My options in a terrorist situation. But I’m a rational person. Why am I having these thoughts? Could I plead my way for life I think? I feel guilty for thinking this person could be bad. With each movement he makes my eyes draw over to him beneath my sunglasses. 

Was he simply just starting his day and having a moment of faith? 

His bag stays on the ground. Near the doors. He takes a seat opposite me. 

The station Clyde is announced. He has been seated for 3 stations. From Flemington to Clyde. Now he stands. Goes over to his bag. Rummages through for something. My heart quickens. But I freeze in my seat, now completely focused on him. He is bent over his bag still rummaging back towards me. Now would be the time to move away. But I don’t want to be rude. I have just succumbed to fear mongering, but I’m a smart person and I’m not a hysterical woman. Stop this. You’re being silly. Has it been 5 minutes? What is he looking for? I look around the compartment. There is a woman who works for council, same as me. Wearing headphones absorbed in her audio. 

Still he is looking for something. The doors open. 

He takes out his hi vis vest. Puts it on and leaves. 

The doors close. 

I feel foolish. But safe.